Practice Self Love with a Money Date
Everyone has a personal money narrative that is running in their heads and, for women, it is often negative. Many of the patterns and pitfalls that we experience in our finances come from our parents. Changing this narrative and creating a positive relationship with money requires effort, just like any other relationship. Fortunately, having a money date with yourself can help with this.
The first time you schedule a money date with yourself, spend some time observing your personal money narrative. Recognize limiting beliefs that you may have internalized as a child including:
Everyone in the family is “bad” at money or math
Your family has a long history of misfortune
You have a fatal flaw that limits your success
Money is the root of all evil
Money isn’t available to us
You can’t make money doing X
To combat these false narratives, can you write a list of some positive words about money?
Which of the words you wrote down resonates with you the most?
Is there a phrase or a mantra that you can create to speak out loud when the negative narrative is playing in your head?
For me, the most important positive word and guiding principle in my life is “freedom”. I have several phrases that include the word freedom that keep me on track when the inevitable money stress creeps in. Develop your own positive money word or phrase and use it to set the tone at the beginning of your money dates.
If you want to dive deeper into your personal relationship with money, you can use these Money Visualization Questions to guide your exploration.
What is a Money Date?
A money date helps you establish a process to set and achieve financial goals. Regular financial check-ins are a simple tool that can break the habits you inherited about money and create a new narrative about how your finances can support your life.
A money date is a dedicated time when you articulate your life goals and align your finances to achieve those goals. It should also include a fun or rejuvenating treat so that you look forward to the event and are also feeling open to celebrating wins and reviewing setbacks.
The goal is to deepen your personal relationship with money without stress or judgment.
Why You Need a Money Date with Yourself
Strengthen Your Relationship with Money– Your life goals are your financial goals. When you dedicate time to reviewing your goals and measuring your progress, you are investing in achieving your best life.
Reduce Money Anxiety – Ignoring your finances leads to stress. The first positive step you can take to manage your money is to look at your accounts and review your activity. Simply monitoring your accounts takes you from the realm of fear to a place of reality. Once you are grounded, you can take steps to gain control over your financial future.
Stay on Track with Goals – Whether saving for a house, tackling debt, or building wealth, consistent check-ins help you stay accountable and motivated.
Create Healthy Financial Habits – Just like fitness, financial health improves with consistency. A money date builds awareness, eliminates surprises and encourages mindful spending.
How to Have a Successful Money Date with Yourself
1. Set the Mood
A money date is not a meeting. Make it enjoyable! Pour a glass of wine, have coffee at your favorite café, or order takeout and make it a cozy night in. Keep the atmosphere light and stress-free.
2. Choose a Recurring Time
Decide how often you’ll have money dates—monthly, quarterly, bi-annually. Pick a time when you are relaxed and free from distractions. Vacations are not necessarily the time to do this as you should be taking a real break.
3. Use an Agenda
Having a basic agenda will keep you on track. Start by repeating your money phrase or money mantra out loud a few times to set the mood and create a judgement-free zone.
Here are some key topics to cover on your money date with yourself and a handy money date checklist:
Review Recent Spending – Look at bank and credit card statements to track where money is going.
Check Bills & Upcoming Expenses – Ensure no payments are missed and you are ready for an infrequent larger bill like car insurance.
Plan for the Future – Create financial goals for vacations, investments, or big purchases. Set a dollar amount and timeframe for each goal.
Assess Debt & Savings – If your goals include paying off debt or saving more, measure the dollar change from your last money date.
Commit & Celebrate – Write down what you accomplished since the last money date and where you will be by the next one. Don’t forget to celebrate those wins!
4. End on a Positive Note
Wrap up your money date with something fun—a dessert, a movie, or a massage. This keeps the experience enjoyable and motivates you to continue the habit.
If you need accountability to have your money dates, why not set a time with a friend? You can each work on your own money picture and then go out for coffee or dinner to celebrate. And don’t forget to use the checklist to keep you organized and on track to financial confidence.
Own Your Financial Future
Even if you are seeking a relationship, it is important to create your own bond with your finances. After all, with the divorce rate still at 50% and the fact that women generally outlive men by 7 years, it is likely that you will be managing your finances on your own at several points in your adult life.
Drop your Smart Sister a note and tell me how your next money date with yourself goes! 💰❤️