Don't Bank on Your Partner for Your Financial Future
Here is an article I originally published in August on Medium. Let me know what you think in the Comments!
Seventy five percent of women will die single, while only 25 percent of men will. The data about the divorce rate and women’s life expectancies is not new and yet, when it comes to long-term financial planning, women overwhelmingly defer those decisions to their partners. This means that women will be alone, especially later in their lives, grappling with financial decisions that they did not participate in. A recent UBS survey reported that 74% of women discovered a negative financial surprise after divorce or death of a spouse.
Reversing this trend requires building financial confidence and community with women of all ages. At Smart Sister Finance, we believe that both of these aspects are necessary to improve the level of women’s involvement with their financial futures.
Strengthening Financial Confidence
Financial confidence starts with knowledge. As 85% of women are running the day-to-day household budgets, it is likely that they know more about money decisions than they think they do. Many Smart Sister Finance coaching clients insist that they are “bad with money” or “don’t understand math” when the reality is they do know what to do, but have never received any positive reinforcement from their families or partners to own their financial decisions.
Confidence is also about access. Many women self-report being excluded or discouraged from participating in long-term financial planning. Both men and women believe that men know more about financial planning, even when there is no difference in the financial education between the sexes. Perhaps women are persuaded by men’s over-confidence in their financial abilities… In a recent study, women self-identified as being less confident in their financial knowledge and skill than men self-identified, even though their actual knowledge was the same.
Aspects of your financial life you can work on with your partner today:
Participate in the selection of advisors such as lawyers, accountants and insurance brokers
Attend the regularly scheduled meetings with these advisors to build relationships you will need to rely on if you are by yourself
Read any legal documents you are signing including wills, trusts, tax returns and investment account paperwork. If you have questions, ask them now so that you are not surprised later on
Schedule an annual Our Net Worth review with your partner and use that time to articulate life and financial goals that you are excited about
Reflect on your money personality and share your emotional triggers around finances with your partner. Money is the #1 stress for couples; working on your continued financial compatibility can ease these issues
Expanding Financial Community
There is a social bias about discussing money that keeps women in the dark. At Smart Sister Finance, we encourage women to share their finance journeys publicly so that we can actually compare where we are from a budget and wealth perspective to where we should be. We also actively support building networks of women experts so that clients and friends have a list of women attorneys, CPAs, coaches, financial advisors, insurance brokers, etc. that they can call on.
Throughout their lives women are dissatisfied with their financial advisors (85% of whom are men) but until recently have not really had many alternatives. According to the 2018 “Money Census” study by Ellevest, a mere 17% of women feel they are getting competent financial advice and just 47% feel they know how to achieve their financial goals. Other studies peg the number of women changing financial advisors upon divorce or widowhood at 70%. Clearly, there is a disconnect between what women need (education, advice, guidance) and how they feel about obtaining those things from the financial services industry.
When women talk to each other about money, great things happen. We encourage women to start reciprocity rings around money. Bringing your smart sisters into your circle moves you from “who do you know?” to “who (and what) do we all know?”.
Other ways to build financial community:
Ask a friend to recommend a woman advisor for any of your banking, investment, real estate or legal needs
Find an accountability partner who will hold you to your budget
Share your financial journey. Start with whatever is comfortable for you: what your long term goals are, where you started with debt and savings, what has (and hasn’t) worked for you
Seek out tools and calculators friends have used when planning for a major life event like a wedding or a first house
It’s a fact that 3 out of 4 women will be alone in their adult lives; we have all likely seen evidence of this in our circle of family and friends. We can face this truth by proactively building knowledge and women support networks to own our financial futures. You can get there - Smart Sister Finance can help.